Top 3 Anger Triggers and Ways to Deal With Them

We've all felt it before. Your blood begins to boil; your fists clench; and your brow furrows. Anger is a powerful and natural reaction that can range from being irritated to feeling enraged.

Anger is often associated with men. A study conducted by researchers at Southwest Missouri State University (SMSU) suggest that, while anger is part of both male and female experiences, men will express their anger "outwardly and directly."

Although the act of men expressing their anger is typically accepted as normal, the truth is that venting one's anger in an unhealthy manner can be a burden on your relationships—both personally and professionally. To help you better cope with anger, we've compiled a list of the top three triggers that commonly anger men as well as healthy and constructive methods for you to manage them.

1. Being publicly disrespected is a surefire way to get your adrenaline pumping. No one likes to be ridiculed or embarrassed in front of one's coworkers, friends, or loved ones. Still, many people feel the need to belittle others publicly to demonstrate dominance or power.

The anger fix: If someone is disrespecting you in front of others, pause and count to ten. Chances are that if you react, you'll end up looking like the jerk. Instead, when you've cooled down, address him face to face. Firmly tell the person that this is the kind of behavior that makes you angry, and it is not okay for them to disrespect you in that way.

2. Being cut off, or any other form of road discourtesy, elicits road rage in many men. Road rage is typically characterized by aggressive driving, excessive honking, swerving, or retaliating in some hostile manner. Statistically, young men are the most prone to road rage.

In a 2002 Rage-Depression Survey, men reported feeling a sense of rage more frequently than women. 56 percent of the men surveyed said they experienced rage on a daily basis versus 44 percent of the women. More men also admitted to retaliating against others when they felt angry or provoked.

The anger fix: Remember that, while on the road, safety is your chief concern. Do not let a stranger dictate your mood or your response. Instead, take a deep breath and reassess your situation. If need be, pull over and count to 30. By the time you finish, the moment and the driver will be long gone.

3. Financial troubles are the root cause of many aggressive behaviors. Money is so much more than just currency. It's tied to relationships, power, security, and personal freedom. Many men still have a deep rooted belief that they must provide for their family. If not, they've somehow failed to fulfill their primary role as caretaker. This feeling of letting down one's family can result in stress, frustration, and anger when it otherwise wouldn't exist.

The anger fix: Money problems always seem permanent, but rarely are. Take a step back and reassess your situation. More times than not, you'll find that getting angry about your situation will only set you back when trying to achieve your goals. Instead, consider what's truly important to you. Look to friends and family for guidance. Move forward in a way that is healthy and productive for you and your loved ones.

Health experts will tell you that holding in your emotions can have an adverse effect on your physical health. Our emotions have a profound effect on us because they are physically linked to our bodies through our immune, endocrine, and central nervous systems. Often the seeds for an individual's physical problems were planted by his earlier emotional traumas.

The following are some of the common physical illnesses that have been linked to the inability to cope with one's anger:

HeadachesStomachaches/ulcersLower back painFatigueDepressionInsomniaHigh blood pressureAnxietyErectile dysfunctionGeneral aches and painsFibromyalgiaAsthmaVarious cancers

Sources:

Olivia Mellan, Karina Piskaldo
Men, Women, and Money
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199901/men-women-and-money

Comparison of Anger Expression In Men And Women Reveals Surprising Differences
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2000/01/000131075609.htm

View the original article here

Let It Out: Healthy Ways to Express Anger

When it comes to anger, health and psychology experts agree: Better out than in. Expressing anger in healthy ways can be a challenge; but keeping your emotions  bottled up is likely to lead to an explosion down the road. What happens when we get angry, and how do we let it go?

Anger is a physical and psychological response to fear, stress, confusion, anxiety, or some other negative situation that puts us on guard. It's part of our natural warning system that something's wrong. It's normal and completely healthy; that is, unless it's expressed in destructive ways or not vented at all. 

What happens when we get angry?  A new study from the University of Valencia analyzed changes in the brain's cardiovascular, hormona,l and asymmetric activation response to anger. The results of this study were published in the journal Hormones and Behavior, and reveal that anger provokes profound changes in a person's state of mind. When one gets angry, the heart rate, arterial tension, and testosterone production increases, cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases, and the left hemisphere of the brain becomes more stimulated.

In the short term, these responses help us react to anger by fighting, fleeing, or freezing up so we can get out of trouble. Over time, however, stress hormones can take their toll on our health.

Separate studies reveal that anger expression is generally accepted in men, but considered unacceptable in women.  That's because women are frequently raised to be more passive, less emotionally volatile and aren't trained to express anger. Both men and women frequently find themselves at a loss for what to do when they get angry. Without appropriate tools and skills, they may resort to substance abuse, violence, verbal abuse, or other negative and destructive behaviors to let a little heat off their temper.  Or, they may shove those angry feelings down and wait until they express themselves with anxiety, depression or health problems linked to chronic stress. 

What are healthy ways to express anger?

Just say it. When confronted with an anger-making situation, use your words. Appropriate communication is key to anger management.

Say, "I'm feeling angry right now."

Then, follow up with a simple statement about what you're angry about. 

Don't call names, make accusations, or say things you'll regret later.

If one particular person or situation repeatedly causes you to feel angry, explore resolutions with your human resources manager, a therapist, or mediator.

Walk away. If you feel like you're about to blow your top, take a fast walk.  Walking:

Creates physical space between you and whatever made you made you mad

Provides physical stress release and energy

Gives you time to think things through. 

Don't run away though.  Walk back when you're calm and address the situation.

Take a deep breath. Deep breathing:

Calms jangled nerves quickly,

Provides a moment of clarity

Sends a message to the person you're angry at that says, "I'm trying to stay calm, but..." 

Regular meditation, yoga or other stress management/mindfulness techniques help you stay in the moment so you can deal with problems effectively as they arise.

Seek help. Some situations are more than any one person can handle.  Ask for help when something is getting out of control. 

Talk to a friend, family member, coworker, or therapist. 

If anger is becoming your all-purpose emotion, make an appointment with your doctor.  You may be experiencing depression or anxiety. 

Sources:

Hormones and Behavior
Volume 57, Issue 3,
March 2010, Pages 276-283
Neus Herrero, Marien Gadea, Gabriel Rodríguez-Alarcón, Raúl Espert, and Alicia Salvador

View the original article here